Day 1: On Resistance

I’ve been moping around this blog for a quite a while talking about what I want to do and how I’m not doing it. I’ve literally been feeling INERT, LISTLESS, and INVISIBLE.  So, I’ll use this space to not necessarily make wild proclamations of what I’m going to do.  Instead, I’ll focus on what is.

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve not been feeling so well.  I used to have awful PCOS, and it’s coming back with a vengeance this past fall.  Then, I was also convinced there was something more.  I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t focus, I was just out of whack, and I am slowly getting better.  After seeing naturopaths, acupuncturists, primary care doctors, several psychologists, a psychiatrist, family, lots of down time, and month away across the world, I’m beginning to feel positive again.

Last night, I was looking over my latest (20) blood test results, and I found out something shocking.  I am highly insulin resistant.  I was devastated to see these numbers.  I mean, it’s never been THIS bad.  But then again, everything makes sense.  The cloudy judgement, the uncertainty, depression, the cravings, the not losing weight despite working out and eating right thing, all of it.  I went to Whole Foods and got some great veggies and tofu.  I immediately started blending smoothies in my new Vita-Mix, and this morning the first thing I did was download this book called The Insulin Resistance Diet.  

The book advocates one to “link and balance” a 2:1 ratio of cabs and protein in each two hour window (for a maximum of 30g carbs and at least 15g protein in each window).  You can eat as much protein and veggies you want, but carbs are a limit.  What’s great about this insulin resistance approach is does two things really well: it embeds a principle, or way of life, by paying homage  to the kaizen method of continuous self-improvement, one step at a time.  By focusing on one meal at a time and its optimal combination, all that exists is the one meal.  There’s something that’s totally zen about this.

Of course, to make this one meal matter for your larger picture, you’ll know what success looks like for you (affirmation: I am slender, healthy, and weigh 119 lbs) and you have a routine that helps you get there (such as a regular healthy shopping practice, knowledge of healthy cooking, ability to select healthy meals at restaurants and on vacations, a general idea of what times you eat and what your ideal meals and snacks are).

But life isn’t about knowing the entire map, it’s about the journey, isn’t it?    The Insulin Resistance Diet is really a way to beat resistance, by linking and balancing all that you already know with the new…one step at a time.

I feel the same way about writing.  I have fretted that I’ve had too many projects, too little uncertainty about what to focus on, and on and on.  But the truth is, we just have to do what’s in front of us.  I’m telling you my story to set me free of my own resistance, both bodily and expressively.  Hopefully this space will give me momentum.



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